Offended
Very quickly, let me tell you exactly what offends me.
People who get offended.
That’s right. The pompous asses you hear about whining about having the words ‘under God’ in the Pledge of Allegiance, and no, I’m not just talking about those who are trying to have it taken out, like so much spam I’ve seen over the last three months. No, I’m talking about both sides. Let it rest. The pledge is a matter of tradition, just leave it be.
I’m offended that a misspoken word can become the newest attack in racism.
I’m offended that if you hold your significant other’s hand in the work place you can be suspended and/or fired for misconduct due to sexual harrassment. If I’m talking to a loved one and share an intimate phrase with them, I will be doing this in my ‘inside voice’. If someone were to strain to listen in on this conversation then I am offended by their incessant gossip-mongering. Screw their petty sexual harrassment bull shit. I don’t care how the third party feels about my discussion, they should really be doing their JOB and not taking part in my private matters.
I’m offended by people who get offended over books such as Harry Potter because of alleged paganism and witchcraft. Just because you say someone uses magic in a book doesn’t mean there is devil worshipping going on. If you think your boycott of Harry Potter is original take a look back to 1960 when fundamentalist Christian organizations persecuted the popular sitcom Bewitched for the use of ungodly powers.
Bewitched, people. She wrinkled her nose to do magic. Give it up.
Which brings us to the other side of the spectrum. Atheists, do me a favor and shut the fuck up. “There are no Atheists in foxholes” is not a slander, retards. It means that when you’re investigating a foxhole - which, by the way, was a hole Charlie (or enemy) would hide in wait for American soldiers to ambush them in Guerilla warfare - you are trusting to higher powers that you would not be shot as you entered. It does not mean all Atheists are cowards.